Can't I stay a little longer?

I hate pollen. I really really really hate pollen. But who doesn't? All I'm saying is it's sad when you can look out the window and watch clouds of pollen blow down the street. I have a yellow tabby cat and we always laugh because we can see him a mile into the woods. Well, we can't anymore, he camouflages perfectly.

Mrs. Eggert. I used to think she was an awesome teacher, but my respect for her is going to pots. And that's all I have to say about that. 

The flea market for Savannah is going to be held in Lugoff, and we've nearly filled up the middle school band room with donations. Someone donated a Radio Flyer Tricycle. Those things are collectibles and sell for about $80 on eBay and hundreds at auctions! I'm hoping a picker shows up Saturday.

My grades aren't as good as I wanted them to be, but they're actually not as bad as I thought either. I don't know how to feel about that. I guess I could say that I need to pick up my slack, but I'm not slacking... It's just complicated.

I've really hated texting lately. And Facebook. And phonecalls. And basically communicating with other people. I guess I've just adapted the mentality that if someone wants to be in my life, they'll put forth the effort. But I know in the back of my mind that I've got to give a little too. I'm a horrible friend.

I want this school year to be over. I want to be able to sleep in every day and stay up every night. I want to throw parties and have fun. I don't want to think anymore. I'm too dead to think right now.

I know I sound really bum as of late, and I really am sorry. I'm just so scared. What hurts more than anything, I think, is when you are hurting and you can't tell anyone why. I usually have a couple of people that I can tell everything to, and it's not that I simply don't want to, it's because I really can't. 

But that's enough with the negative. I guess the good thing is that times like these really do make me think a lot. My writing is really successful lately, but it's usually only successful when I have too much on my mind to even process, which is happening now. But like I said, that could be good. Brain exercise.