I'm really out of my element here

Just for the record, I'm getting REALLY tired of people joking about my "hiccups". Yesterday I went off on Kelsey yesterday and now I feel absolutely horrible. She didn't mean anything by what she said, at all. I just... I don't know. Everything is getting out of hand. I feel like a freak on a regular basis. I used to be able to tolerate it when people would tease me, but then things began to change. It's gotten bad lately.

They tell people to make fun of me, because supposedly it's funny to make me feel like even more of an outcast. They tell me "That's why no one likes you. Because you're weird." They tell me "I'm seriously getting tired of hearing that noise you make. It's really annoying, Megan."

I can't help it, okay? Is that something no one can work into their minds?

I can't help it.
I can't help it.
I can't help it.
I CAN'T HELP IT!

If you think it gets on your nerves, imagine what it's like for me. Not only do I have to listen to it all the time, but I have to deal with those horrible glares I get from adults when I'm being "disrespectful." I have to pretend like nothing out of the ordinary happened when I can't stop it during the moment of silence, or prayer at church. And then I have to listen to everyone else ridicule me about something they know nothing about. It's just ignorance, and it really hurts when people voice ignorance.

Whatever. I'll just go on pretending like I don't care. Moving to another subject, I have written a lot of poetry lately. Deleted most of it. I hate it when people read my work. I'm kind of indie when it comes to my poetry. It's My poetry. Not yours. Mine. Yeah. I'm twisted. But this is probably one of the only times I'll post it. Enjoy.


Dust gathers gently
on your unblinking eyelids
as I try to sway
the mind of stone.
I once admired those
with cookie-cutter minds.
Now I admire you alone.
What earthly thoughts,
unmoved by wind and rain
are in that head of yours,
stowed away in a golden safe?